My life, my way? No way, Jose.

Your twenties are your years to learn. To figure your sh*t out. To have your ‘AH-HA!’ moment/s. Or so they say. But why is a number, your age, so definitive to your life and its outcome? Why can’t you realise one day that your life is or is not what you want. Irrespective of your DOB, age or this ‘number’. To me, I thought I always knew what I wanted. I fell into a career straight out of high school which saw me pull out of my university degree and just do the 9-5 and thought that this was it. How life was ‘meant’ to be. How my life was meant to be.

Slowly over time there was a burn (non-medical FYI) and a drive to do something more. To be something more. Whilst still working, I started looking at different ways to harness my passions and this creativity. I created an online business. It failed, dismally. But I kept persevering. I attempted to start an import company. This failed, shock horror. Almost every week, I was coming up with new ‘ah-ha’ idea and sharing them with my parents. The whole time I am sure, they were beginning to get concerned with my constant “more, more, more” attitude and drive. It must’ve been exhausting for them because it sure was for me.

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It wasn’t until I went overseas in 2015 and had the opportunity for the first time in my life to truly be by myself with no external persuasions. I found myself on the other side of the world with no-one I knew. I was doing whatever I wanted and doing it whenever I wanted to do it. It was the scariest realisation and also the most profound of my life. It was whilst I was overseas I quit my job. I enrolled in University. I had decided my life as I was living it, currently, was not enough. To a lot of people, I am sure, I looked bat sh*t crazy. (I probably still do TBH). I was leaving a well paying, stable job, to do, well I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know what I was doing. I quit my job without a new job to go to AKA I had no money and I was broke. But I knew I wasn’t happy. So I went about fixing it. I was heading for a breakdown and just knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I was no longer the naive young girl with the five million dreams; I had grown up. I was a woman, yes, but I had no f*cking idea what I was doing!

So of course, once I quit my job and questioned everything. I fell into such a depressive lull. People where asking me what I was doing, where I was going, how I was doing, what the big plan was. But I was numb. I had no answers to any of it. I felt stupid and worthless. I had f*cked up. Royally. I also knew I was about to in debt up to my eyeballs. I had also convinced myself I wouldn’t finish my degree.

What. The. F*ck.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 16.16.43This pivotal moment is what led me to where I am now. Right now, today, I am surrounded, daily, but the most influential and positive role models I have ever met. My best friends, my muses, my shoulders to cry on, my fellow wine whingers, my gym buddies, my siblings, my parents, my friends who I have made as the moniker ‘Everything by Erin’, these people are my family. These people are my support network. These people are why I keep doing what I am doing. These people are why I have not quit and did not quit and will not quit.

Getting back to my original point, life is what you make it. Over the past two years I have grown as a person expo-f*cking-nentially. I get to meet like-minded individuals on a daily basis, I have developed my blog, my business and have nearly graduated university. I have done this. The woman who literally questioned EVERY aspect of her life. And still does. But I can do this. How do I know that? Because I’ve done it. And if I can do this, anyone can.

I’m not the person I once was. I don’t regret who I was, the things I have done in my past or the path that I chose. I am just different. I have grown. I have become my own person. I don’t follow crowds and I sure as sh*t don’t care about what people think of me anymore. I have my family, my mentors and my friends that have become my family.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 16.15.10To the people who understand my drive, my grind, my passion and what I strive to do; thank you for sticking by me and loving me and supporting me. To the people who I have lost along the way because we’ve drifted or we are no longer connect; I’m sorry. But everything that I do in my life is for me. No-one else. For everyone who has supported me; thank you.

Watch. This. Space.

E x

Side note – All quotes in todays blog are provided by the EVER-SO smart and talented boss b*tch Colette Werden (insta is @colettewerden)

 

 

A Memo To All D*ckheads

Other people’s business is not, and never will be, your business. Sorry to break it to you but it isn’t. How someone lives their life is not open to discussion nor interpretation from you; unless they ask for it.

SOOOOOO often in today’s day and age, people are way too judgemental towards people they a) don’t know and b) have opinions on topics they know nothing about.

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Let me set the scene for everyone shall I? Let’s use my friend as an example, let’s call her Cheryl. Cheryl recently broke up with her partner. She didn’t post it all over social networking nor did she go out and try and ‘forget’ about her ex-partners’ existence. She just moved the f*ck on. Now Cheryls’ ex-partners ‘mates’ however, let’s call him Patrick did the opposite. His mates have recently decided it’d be a sick idea to try and berate Cheryl and bring her down. This sort of stuff isn’t funny, cool nor necessary. Just shut up and move on. I don’t know, be mature about it, buy a plane ticket, book a boys trip overseas or something. Just leave that person alone.

Then on top of this back and forth BS, there’s the other people weighing in on it constantly. The people who aren’t close enough to be in on the drama / gossip but want to know, so ask either Cheryl or Pat if they’re still together and when someone screams/says politely “no”, they start pressing for answers. The old ‘who, what, where, when and why’, comes into play. People who legitimately have NO need to know your business, now want to know your business. But why? Why do people froth off of knowing that other people are going through a hard time?

On top of the people that are asking all the questions, there are the people who are assuming they know the reasons behind a break-up and have no problem in sharing their theories. These people are more dangerous than a glass of vodka that you mistake for a glass of water when you are hungover. These people are the pinnacle of d*cks as they are the ones who told such and such and then such and such AND THEN brought it up over brunch with Cheryl’s cousin who was then SO surprised when it comes back to said break-up-ee (Cheryl).

Now I can definitely say that I am not one to judge, because far out brussell sprout; we’ve all been there. Of course, sometimes I am privy to hear something and be like god damn, gotta share this, but even I have slowly (but surely) learnt I can’t do this. Why? Because this makes me an even bigger see you next Tuesday than the person who said it. I can honestly say I know things now that even make the hairs on my head curl (when I haven’t put a sh*t load of hairspray and straightened the be-jesus out of it), but I don’t. Keeping my mouth shut on things that a) aren’t any of my business and b) definitely are not any of my business; are things that I should definitely not speak about.

Now whilst I definitely do not condone violence, the adage “talk sh*t, get hit” is definitely relevant. If I hear anyone, and I mean absolutely anyone talking about Cheryl and Patrick and their relationship and how it ended, I will have ZERO hesitation in hitting you with the truth on it and how it is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Because I can guarantee that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

So in summary, if it doesn’t concern you, don’t worry about it. Just move on and concentrate on your own life and your own problems. Christ, I am sure you’ve got bigger issues to deal with than why Cheryl and Patrick broke up three months ago.