Why we always go back for the 5847th time

Like many humans in life, I crave normalcy. Not what everyone classifies as normal. I crave my normal. I’m talking routine of uni, gym, work, stressing, gossiping and socialising. The usual Monday to Sunday stressful rigmorale I had grown accustomed too. This includes my ex. Now this isn’t something new I’ve only just started. I’ve always done it. Every relationship I’ve been in irrespective of the duration or seriousness, at some stage or another I’ve re-visited. Nostalgic or dumb? You be the judge.

Sex And The City GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Now I’m not saying it’s a given when things end that you are going to get back together. Obviously if there’s a scandalous reason for as to why you broke up, you aren’t to be blamed. Or you might just hate their guts. It’s all your prerogative and your bloody business. Not your friends. Not their friends. Not your parents. Not your gyno’s. No-ones but you and your (potential future) ex-bae.

The worst part after a break up is the fifty million questions that follow and the inevitable sledging that occurs. Now if you are going to try and salvage any form of ‘love embers’ (dad’s words, sick right?!); you need to quit the sh*t with the sledging. Because the second you even start paying this person attention again, EVERY single person you’ve ever said something to about them will remember and I guarantee that they will almost recite the exact wording re-creating the exact tones and pitch you used to first b*tch in the first place. Please note that this comes from a place of love and protection. I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of this and let me tell you, it isn’t meant to come across judgy or b*tchy but more so think “big brother meets their innocent younger sisters first boyfriend who rides a Harley and is covered in tat’s” kind of protection. They love you. They want to protect you. They don’t want to see you get hurt. But as most people will learn, if they haven’t already, they can’t protect you. If you’re big enough and ugly enough to be in a relationship; you are big enough and ugly enough to cope with the BS that follows one.

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So thinking back to all of the tumultuous back and forth, two’ing and fro’ing ive done, I instantly am panged with so many “AH-HA” moments. Not just in relationships but errrthang. My hair; from blonde to brown to red to black (vom). My ideas on my career path; from police officer (lol) to au-pair to bartender in a strip club (got the job; pussied out) to going back to uni full-time whilst working two jobs. My exes; from thinking I was going to spend the rest of my life with my high school “serious” boyfriend to thinking that the bad boy I worked with would ever turn into anything more than a two-year booty call. Long story short, I’ve done it before and let’s be real, I’ll probably do it again.

I have friends that have gone back to their exes and they’re happily loved up. I have friends who have gone on to marry their ex partners. I have friends who have had kids with their exes. I have friends who went back for a bit of sexy-time and it turned to sh*t. And I know some people who think of their exes and instantly want to barf. It’s each to their own on this topic. All I know, is it’s none of my business and “you do you boo” definitely applies.

So who knows if it ever works out. All I know is that QANTAS ad really sounds good, it does feel like home (for now?).

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